


Entry Process

by phidari



Category: Kamen Rider Fourze, Kamen Rider Series, Kamen Rider W (Double), Other Fandom Tags to Be Added
Genre: Alternate Universe - Homestuck Fusion, Alternate Universe - SBURB Fusion, Derse and Prospit, Gen, Intra-Kamen Rider Crossover, Kamen Riders Play Sburb, Pesterlog, Species Swap, Typing Quirks, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-04 18:33:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4148439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phidari/pseuds/phidari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Several people play a terrible video game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. > Akiko: Search

**Author's Note:**

> ...Kamen Riders play Sburb. That's basically all this is. I make no promises about how often this will be updated (see also, me and any other WIP ever).

"So, Ms. Burglar," said the smug-looking cop as he scratched his back with his lousy plastic back-scratcher, "do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Just the same thing I've already been saying!" Akiko Narumi insisted, tugging at the handcuffs binding her wrists to the desk in the bright, uncomfortable police interrogation room she was sitting in. "I wasn't breaking in! That's my dad's office, I have a right to be there!"

"Your dad?" The officer looked down at the clipboard he was holding in his free hand. "Sokichi Narumi, the private detective?"

"Yeah, him!" Akiko banged her fists against the table. "Check my ID, it's in my purse. I'm his daughter, Akiko Narumi!"

"I don't know how to tell you this, Miss Narumi," the officer said in a hesitant tone of voice, "but Detective Narumi's office has been vacant for months, now."

"...What?"

"And nobody has seen him in that period of time, either." He dropped the clipboard onto the table with a shrug. "And now you're telling us that we all assumed wrong in guessing that he'd just returned to Osaka?"

"No way." Akiko slumped back in her chair. Her heart felt like it was sinking right out of her body. "I didn't hear anything about this."

 

Once the question of her identity was resolved, she was let go with a warning.

"If you'd follow me, Miss Narumi." The police superintendant, Ryu Terui, gestured as he led her out to the parking lot. "If you'd like to enter your father's office and retrieve the item you came for, I will accompany you."

"Thanks." She adjusted her purse strap as she followed. She wasn't nearly as full of energy as she had been when she'd been brought in to the station; learning that one's father was missing tended to be a strong blow.

Terui knew that all too well.

He led Akiko to his motorcycle and climbed on, gesturing for her to follow suit.

"You ride a bike instead of a police car? Wait. Are you one of those loose-cannon cops who doesn't play by the rules?" She must not have been too broken up about it; she was grinning again.

"Do not ask me questions." Terui pulled his bike helmet on and fastened it under his chin. "Just get on."

Akiko seemed to take just a little too much glee from sitting right up against Terui's back and wrapping her arms around his waist.

 

Akiko still didn't have the key to the office—her trying to climb in a window was the entire reason she'd been detained in the first place—so she stood back while Terui picked the lock.

"We're coming in," he announced as he shoved the door open, although there was nobody there to hear.

It was Akiko's first time in the Narumi Detective Agency. She stood in the doorway, taking in all the little details of her father's life that she'd never before had the chance to see. The hats hanging up on one wall, the posters, the little alcove with a bed in it (did he even have his own place in Fuuto or did he just sleep here?); the entire office gave off a very old-fashioned vibe.

Very cool. Or... hard-boiled? Was that the term?

"Wow, is that a real typewriter? Incredible!" Akiko exclaimed when she'd finally made her way over to her father's desk. "And look at all these detective novels. No way, he could read English?" She picked up an English-language copy of _The Long Goodbye_ and flipped through it. "I didn't hear anything about this!"

Terui stood by the door, arms crossed over his chest, and cleared his throat. "If you could get a move on, Miss Narumi?"

"Oh, right, right." She pulled a slip of paper out of one pocket and read over it again.

Miss Akiko Narumi,  
  
You must retrieve the client and server disks from your father's office. It is of dire importance that you complete this task as soon as possible--before you become unable to do so.

The letter was unsigned, and had arrived without any return address. It wasn't written in her father's handwriting, either. Akiko had been expecting to find her father here at the office to explain what this whole thing was about, but without him she had to fly blind.

She opened drawers and rifled through them. Nothing but paperwork. She checked in the kitchenette's drawers, peeked between books on bookshelves, and even climbed up the ladder behind the desk to the storage space up above—still nothing. After a long and fruitless search she flopped down, groaning, into one of the chairs in the front of the office.

"I don't get it," she whined. "What am I supposed to do here, anyway?!"

Terui raised an eyebrow. He took a seat across from her. "Is there something in particular you're looking for?"

Wordlessly, she handed the letter over. He skimmed it, brows furrowed in confusion. "The client and server disks?"

"I don't even know what those are. I didn't hear about any of this!" Akiko buried her face in one of the couch cushions with an exasperated groan.

"Would you mind if I took a look?"

She waved a hand dismissively. "Go for it."

Cautiously, Terui opened drawers and looked on top of shelves. He even stepped over to the hat-rack wall and picked one of the hats up to look underneath it, though of course there was nothing. Finally he sighed and slumped against the wall.

Just as he was about to verbalize his defeat, though, the wall shifted behind him and opened up, dumping him onto the floor.

Akiko gasped and jumped to her feet. "You found something!"

"Ugh..." Terui sat up and rubbed at his back. "I suppose you could put it that way."

Akiko stepped over the fallen superintendant and peered into the room behind the door. Her jaw dropped. It was _huge_. There was enough space to house a few cars and still have room left over. Lining one wall was some kind of massive computer with huge screens and gigantic keyboards and whatsits and doo-dads, and even something that looked like a teleporter device from some kind of lame sci-fi flick.

There was also a desk with a normal-sized computer on it. Akiko stepped over to it and looked down, and lo and behold—resting on top of the keyboard were four CD sleeves. Two of them were labeled "SBURB Client", and two were labeled "SBURB Server."

"Hey Ryu, I found them!"

"Don't say my name in such a familiar way," Terui grumped. He joined her by the desk and frowned down at the disks. "This is them?"

"It sure looks like it. I've never heard of this Sburb thing, though. Wonder what it is?"

"You'll have to find out on your own time. Now that you've located what you came for, I need to be getting—"

Akiko wasn't even listening to what Terui had to say. She knelt down to boot the computer up.

"Miss Narumi, please—"

"C'mon, you know you're curious too! I bet you weren't expecting some secret science room hidden inside a detective agency, were you?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Then it's settled!" Surprisingly, the computer didn't even ask for a username or password. It just went straight to the desktop, and so Akiko sat down and popped open the CD tray to stick one of the disks in.

Before she could do so, though, a window popped up on the screen.

"Hm?" She looked up at Terui. "Have you ever heard of a program called Pesterchum?"

"No, why?"

friendshipTranscends [FT] began trolling nagaiOwakare [NO] at 3:45 PM  
  
FT: sweet, it worked just like we thought it would!  
FT: u even have a diffriend trolltag like u said u would  
FT: or chumhandle? u've been calling it that for some reason  
NO: Um... who is this?  
FT: whaaat? u don't recognize me? but we're such good buds!  
NO: I've never talked to you before in my life!  
FT: don't worry, i'm kidding  
FT: this is u in the past so we hafriend met yet  
FT: but we WILL be buds, mark my words  
FT: because i'm the troll who's going to befriend everyone in this session!  
NO: Uh...  
FT: my name's gentaro  
FT: now here's what u need to do


	2. > Gentaro: Wake up.

Gentaro Kisaragi did not usually dream when he slept.

Which one might consider odd, if one knew him: He was the kind of guy overflowing with energy, just bursting at the seams and raring to go constantly. It only made sense to presume this energy would transfer to his sleeping hours as well. But he usually slept through the entire day without nary a peep of a dream to disturb him, because the sopor slime in his recuperacoon kept him from experiencing the violent, traumatic nightmares that were common to his species.

Oh, yeah. Gentaro Kisaragi also had grey skin, mustard-colored blood, and yellow-and-orange horns on his head. He was a troll.

But this morning, when he climbed into the sloppy green sludge inside his recuperacoon and closed his eyes, something different happened.

When he opened his eyes he found that he was in a pink-tinged version of his respiteblock. Sunlight streamed through the window, but it seemed different somehow from the harsh, burning sun of Alternia. It didn't hurt at all.

He climbed out of his recuperacoon and found that he was wearing a pair of yellow pajamas. Which was odd, since trolls normally didn't wear bedclothes. They'd just get messy.

Gentaro peered out the window, looking down upon a glittering golden city, and said to himself, "I don't think I'm in Troll Kansas anymore."

Which meant there was only one thing to do. Explore.

He climbed up into the window and leapt, fully expecting to hit the pavement below—he was used to taking jumps like that as an average delinquenteen (which, despite the etymology of the term, applied to trolls around the age of seven or eight sweeps; trolls with actual teen-numbered ages were, of course, adults) so he knew could handle the fall. But instead, amazingly, he just hovered there in the air. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped in amazement as he realized that _he was flying_.

Gentaro couldn't stop laughing as he swept through the city, ducking between tall-spired buildings, peeking into windows at the strange, featureless, white-shelled people who lived inside.

"Hey!" he called out to one of them, coming to a stop so he could actually talk to her. "What is this place?"

In response, the person inside let out a high pitched screech and leapt out of her chair in shock. "Are you the Saint? Oh my god, you're really him. You're awake!" She rushed over to the window, a wide grin on her hard face.

"Saint?" Gentaro scratched the back of his head in confusion. "I mean, that sounds pretty cool, but I'm just Friendaro—uh, Gentaro Kisaragi."

"So that's your name." The white-shelled girl kept grinning. "I see! The only other hero who's awake is the Bard and he's been awake for _ages_. So I guess I didn't realize that a hero just waking up wouldn't know anything."

"Hero?" First a Saint and now a hero? This was sounding better and better. "Me?"

"Yep!" The girl extended a hand with two fingers sticking up in a V-for-victory. "You're one of the heroes destined to lead Prospit in the war against the kingdom of darkness, Derse. The Saint of Blood!"

"Whoa, that sounds pretty badass." _Really_ badass. "So this place is called Prospit?"

The girl nodded. "We're the kingdom of light. Come inside, I'll tell you everything I know!"

 

She prepared a snack for him, a stew made up of dumplings arranged to look like fifteen celestial bodies: the blue world of Skaia, which she pointed out in the sky above them; yellow Prospit and purple Derse, the two kingdoms at war; six planets that didn't exist yet, she said, but would when the time was right—the worlds of the heroes of Prospit; and six other planets that would belong to the heroes of Derse.

"People call me the Jubilant Yeoman," she said as she dished up a bowl for Gentaro. "I'm a royal astronomer for the White King and White Queen. JY for short."

"Jubilant Yeoman?" Gentaro sipped his soup and gasped. "Wow, this soup is great! But I mean, that's a title, not a name."

"That's how Prospitians' names work," JY explained. "Our titles change as we mature and change careers and so on, but our initials always stay the same. When I was first getting into astronomy everyone called me the Janskian Youth." She laughed. "Some people go through titles like they're underwear, but I haven't had that many. J and Y aren't very easy letters to use."

Gentaro had to laugh, too. These Prospitians didn't look anything like trolls, and they lived in a completely different way, but somehow he still felt like there was some basic similarity there. "I guess troll names are kind of ar-bud-rary too when you think about it. They're always twelve letters long, six for the first name and six for the last name."

JY's face wrinkled in confusion. "Gentaro... Kisaragi... is twelve letters?"

"Yeah!" He nodded. "In our pal-phabet anyway. Maybe it's dif-friend in yours?"

"Yeah, it definitely is. You... have a funny way of talking," JY observed.

"That's my quirk!" Gentaro grinned. "Every troll has one. Friendship's super important, so—" Oh, man. He just had a _great_ idea. "JY, let's be buds!"

JY stared in shock. "Huh?"

"I mean, you do have friendship here, right?"

"Yeah, of course! But me, friends with one of the mythical heroes?"

"Yeah!" Gentaro pounded his chest twice, then extended his arm and pointed a finger right at her. "I've just decided that I'm gonna befriend everyone on Prospit!"

JY stared for a second, but then broke into a wide grin and nodded enthusiastically. "Great idea! Okay, then, Gentaro. Let's be friends!"

 

The next time Gentaro slept and dreamt on Prospit, JY introduced him to another friend of hers: A boy who she called an Unenthusiastic Killjoy.

UK's only response was to roll his eyes and clarify, "I'm also one of the royal astronomers. So... she was telling the truth when she said she met the Saint." He tilted his head and peered closely at Gentaro. "Fascinating."

They didn't stay at UK's place for long. After standing up for only a few minutes, he had to sit down and catch his breath, and he waved them toward the door.

"Is he okay?" Gentaro asked.

"He's always been kind of sickly," JY replied. "It's nothing too serious, but he doesn't really like to talk about it."

She led the way down the golden streets of Prospit toward the royal astronomy tower where she worked, but along the way another white-shelled girl—this one wearing thick black robes and holding a crystal ball in one hand—grabbed at Gentaro's arm.

"The Saint is awake?" she inquired, but didn't wait for an answer. "Beware, hero of Blood. A catastrophe awaits you and your fellow heroes."

"Huh?" Gentaro shook her hand off his arm and turned to face her. "Who are you?"

"Oh..." JY looked uncomfortable. "That's just some Nebulous Thaumaturge. You don't need to listen to her."

"But she said—"

NT peered between JY and Gentaro. "Heed my words. There is an unbalance in the cosmos and disaster awaits. There is still time to avert it if you renounce your titles."

"Renounce their titles?!" JY stepped between Gentaro and NT, hands on her hips. "Are you joking? They're our mythical heroes. They're going to lead us to—"

"—an inevitable failure." NT looked down at her crystal ball, appearing deep in thought. "The kingdom of darkness cannot be overcome. Prospit is doomed to failure, again and again and again."

"I'm not listening to this. C'mon, Gen!" JY turned, blinking her beady black eyes in shock when she saw that Gentaro was gone. "...Gen?"

Meanwhile, on Alternia, Gentaro Kisaragi was groaning tiredly and hauling himself out of his recuperacoon. His cockatoo lusus was crowing at the setting sun.

Just what had _that_ been about?

 

He visited Prospit again and again. JY refused to talk about what NT had said that one day, saying that she was just some weirdo who Gentaro shouldn't waste his time worrying about. Gentaro wasn't so sure that was true. If nothing else, he wanted to make friends with her.

A few days after he'd first woken on Prospit, he thought to peek into the windows of his fellow heroes' towers. There were five others in all, and not all of them were trolls. The Sleuth, Knight, and Maid were these weirdly pale, soft-looking creatures without horns. The Page was a troll, a seadweller. None of those four had yet awoken. The only one who had was the Bard, who never seemed to be in his tower when Gentaro went to look. He wondered what kind of guy he was.

He wouldn't have to wonder for long.

As Gentaro flew high over the streets of Prospit, eyes wide for something interesting to pop in on, he started to get the feeling he was being watched. When he turned to see who was there, it looked as though something was ducking just out of sight, almost fast enough to avoid notice—but not _quite_.

Frowning, Gentaro backtracked and peeked around the building he'd seen the whatever-it-was disappear behind. Nothing was there.

"Hey, anyone there?" He glanced in every direction, but there was still nothing but the occasional Prospitian glancing out a window and pointing at him—the Saint up and about was still a novel sight. "C'mon, I saw you. Come out and face me one-on-one!"

He heard a sigh. From around the corner of another golden building, an unfamiliar figure emerged. It was dressed in yellow pajamas like Gentaro and the other heroes, but it had on its head a fairly stylish-looking black fedora. Oh, and the creature was short, green, hairless, and vaguely lizard-esque, with red swirls on its cheeks.

Gentaro didn't care. After the Prospitians, he was prepared for anything. "Are you one of the other heroes?"

The strange green person nodded coolly, running one clawed finger along the brim of his fedora. "Name's Shotaro. You're Gentaro, if I've heard right?"

"Yeah. Gentaro Kisaragi." Gentaro drifted closer, peering curiously at Shotaro. "What _are_ you?"

"I'm a detective." Shotaro flipped his hand in the air and made a motion as if running it through his nonexistent hair. "As hard-boiled as they come."

"Well... okay, I can see that," and he could now that Shotaro mentioned it, "but I meant what species."

"Oh." Shotaro dropped his hand awkwardly. "I'm a cherub."

"Sweet!" Gentaro zipped around Shotaro to get a better look from every angle. "I've never heard of those. Is your planet part of the friend-pire?"

"Friendpi— wait, do you mean empire? You have an empire?"

"Yeah, the Pal-ternian Empire—uh, Alternian. I know we've conquered tons of planets but I can never friemember all of them." Gentaro counted off on his fingers. "There's so many of them and the schoolfeeding lessons just list off a bunch of names and dates."

"Never heard of it. Outside of Prospit, I haven't met anyone who wasn't a cherub."

"Not even those weird squishy-looking guys in the other towers?" What were they supposed to be, anyway?

Shotaro's eyes lit up. "You mean the humans? They haven't woken up yet, but if what I've heard about humans is true then they're pretty cool." He grinned. "They're the ones who came up with the concept of a hard-boiled detective. Ah, I was recognized long before my time..."

"So they're called humans?" Gentaro grinned. "Then I guess I need to make friends with all the humans on Prospit also. And all the cherubs, too!" He stuck his hand out toward Shotaro.

But before Shotaro could respond, he poofed into thin air.

"...do cherubs not like friendship or something?" Gentaro wondered in disbelief.

 

"Dammit...!" Groaning, Shotaro pushed the lid off of the sarswapagus he shared with his brother. He couldn't believe this. He'd finally met another of Prospit's heroes, and now here he was. Awake.

Shotaro stepped through the office, dodging the piles of books stacked up on the floor (mostly courtesy of his brother) and the piles of fedoras (fedoras were awesome). He plopped down in the chair behind the desk and picked up a book his brother had left there. He had no idea what it was even about, but it had to be more interesting than watching the paint on these walls peel. No, scratch that. The paint had already peeled off ages ago, and in some places there wasn't enough there to rightly call a "wall" anymore.

He flipped the book open to a random page. "Alternian royalty?"

Where the hell had his brother gotten _this_?


End file.
